tried and tired.

Today I went to court. I was very well taken care of - thanks to God and the nice District Attorney. I walked in with a possible 11 pt ticket and fines of possibly around $1,000.00. I walked out having paid $93.00 and as long as I don't get in major trouble with the law in the next 12 months, 0 points!!! YAY. Thank you LORD.

While I was sitting in the waiting room waiting and waiting because that's what one does in waiting rooms, I started reading "The Prodigal God" by Timothy Keller... and dang it has hit me hard. I've already been sorting through a lot in my head, but here's some honest thoughts as a result of the first 40 pages: 

So I have been trying to please the Lord with the things that I do. That maybe He owes me something because I try to be godly and to follow Him. Maybe that way He'll let me have a good future including a hot hubby, cute healthy children, and a life of following Him. That's what I want... how can I insure that? I can't. Do I want to follow Him because I love HIM and want to know HIM or am I really just looking out for myself. And, do I get jealous when He gives other people good things who I find somehow less godly than me? yup. 

Hello, I am an "older brother". More to come as I keep sorting out my depravity and reading the rest of the book. :)  

hmmmm.. heavy thoughts for the eve. 

song writing and fraturdaze...

I have started writing music. The Lord has given me lines of songs as I am falling asleep and then I usually try to choose to wake up, turn on the kbd. and write them down. It's really humbling and really neat. AND, I don't really want to play them for people because they're just really personal, but maybe someday I will... :)

My only other real thought this morning is that my fridays are pretty much everyone else's saturdays. so can I call them "fraturdays" without people thinking that I go to frat houses on fridays? I play worship a lot of weekends on Saturdays and Friday is the day when I just get stuff done. On the list today: mailing some thank you letters, coffee with friends, trying to get a hold of the transcript queen at JBU, catch up on Biggest Loser, study Psalm 139. Any other suggestions?

rubber fish and rest

A little job update:

Today I spent a lot of time trying to find a good fake rubber fish to buy on the internet. That's part of my job. :) Anything that anyone in the Children's Ministry department needs to buy they put on a list and I get to order, including fake rubber fish. Did you know that there is a lack of them in the US? 8 online stores were out of stock of these beauties. 

Besides the current lack of fake fish, work is going well. I am working with wonderful people. AND, the LORD is working on me even in the midst of a work day, so it's great. However, I am really sleepy. Work just wears me out. Who knew 25 hours a week could wear me out? 

someone called it -

--- everything has been happening all at once. 

Saturday I bought a car! 

And a cell phone. 

And today I got a job!

YAY. I bought a 2003 Dodge Stratus from a family friend for way under what it could be sold for. Thank you GOD and thank you Paul. And my cell phone had died the day after my wreck so now I have a new one. Today I found out that I will be a temp. admin for my church for 25 hours a week. It probably will be a job for at least a few months if not more.  

So, I start tomorrow. Pray that the Lord will be honored in my learning this job. 

WHOA. A lot of changes, BUT God is, again, not surprised. May I be faithful. 

Goodbye snowpuff.

Tuesday night we went to a basketball game, went out for chic-fil-a, I filmed some interviews for the valentines video that my friends and I made ("The love of your life" is the name of the film; check for it on youtube or facebook or movie theaters sometime soon :) ), dropped off some of my friends at home and then started to drive home. The roads were kind of wet, but it definitely didn't look bad, so I wasn't being super conscious of my driving... I was going north and started to slide on some ice, tried to correct it, but couldn't, kept spinning, realized a car was coming towards me in the other lane, and that I would probably hit her, so I honked, closed my eyes, kept spinning, and hit her. I hit the side of her car, kept spinning, then stopped in the middle of the road.  

Thoughts at that point, running through my head, "I am okay. Is the person who I hit okay? Did I hit her drivers door? Oh, I'm still in the middle of the road, and other cars are coming... will my car start?" 

My car started (albeit very funny sounds), so I pulled off to the side, and then got out to check on the other driver. Don't worry, she was not hurt, is a Christian, is wonderful (and even wants me to meet her 28 year old single son), and was great through the whole thing.  

The cops came.  I called my dad, he came. We emptied out my car, I got myself a few little tickets, our cars were both towed, and then at 12:15 I got home. 

-----------------------------

So... Goodbye Snowpuff. I have cried about how much I loved my little car. I just thought it was perfect for me, it was little, a standard, quirky and had great gas mileage. In Arkansas, it put up with me driving to Lincoln every day and driving to and from Colorado often. So, I miss it. And am just sad to see it go. 

But, the Lord is not surprised by my accident, and He is much bigger than car wrecks. There has been a lot of tough stuff going on in friends' lives lately, and I am continually reminded of the Lords' sovereignty, power, and LOVE. He does have good things for us, and sometimes does take us through tough things. Will we praise Him in the midst it?  I hope to... over and over again. I got to help with worship again this week and it was just a treat to praise the Lord with hundreds of other broken people. We are ALL desperately in need of the Lords grace for life and salvation, and He has given it to us! We can rejoice in that!  

oh... what a world we live in

Whoops. Got a little behind on posting (really, that's the story of me blogging since day one). 

Some thoughts on life and some accomplishments, in no particular order:

1. I LOVE my church. We are in the middle of a teaching series on worship and it continually is shifting my perspective of God. It's a treat. 

2. I don't have a job. And I am not going to India. I thought I was, but I'm not. It has been a good decision - I'm very glad that the decision is made. And I am excited about what's ahead...

3. What's ahead? You think I know? Nope, I don't. I just know that I love worship (leading worship, singing, writing, playing in the band, any of it) and want to pursue that. But since that doesn't pay at the moment (or maybe never will), I'm applying for more admin. jobs (woo-hoo!). 

4. This week I hiked the incline in Manitou Springs. It was a big accomplishment. I hope to make it a regular event. 

5. I'm reading a book called "The Art of Compassion" and it has some neat thoughts on art and how our art/music/ability to make $$ and give it away can help relieve some people living in poverty. 

6. I want to spend my money in a way that reflects what I care about. So, that means giving more, even when I don't have. and being smart so that my checkbook reflects that I care more about Christ and His work and His people than I do about clothes from target (man, that's a toughie). 

7. Other good book recommendations: Crazy Love by Francis Chan, and Soul Survivor by Mike Pilavachi. They have been part of encouragement that's gotten me through this waiting season. 

8. The LORD continues to put great people into my life that it is a treat to run next to. I am always meeting great people who love the Lord through worship. And friends continue to encourage me in HUGE ways. 

That's it. G'night.

good, great God

Well... I almost didn't get a chance to write in December, but for a few minutes I'm glad to take a breather and write what's going on. It has been a sweet, great, advent season. This month the Lord provided money for me in great ways: I got a check from the school I worked at in AR last year that I wasn't expecting at all. I also have been the fill in secretary for my parents church, and they generously pay. The Lord has provided for me in great ways - He is very worthy of our trust. 

Patience. Patience has also been a theme. The Jews waited 400 years for the coming of the Messiah - Christ - talk about patience! I have had trouble waiting 6 months for a job!!!!  So, this season I have found myself waiting for a lot of things: for the second coming of Jesus, (come Lord come!), for a job, for love, for an apartment, for things to be a little more clear. But in all of this waiting the Lord has taught me again about His love for me and that I am whole in Him - not in a job, or a boyfriend, or in a cute house, but that I am whole in the LORD alone. 

So, I am excited for a new year - excited to see what the Lord does and excited to continue to lean on Him and surrender to His ways (for the are best!).  And I have seen the Lord's blessing in so many ways: financially, with friends, with opportunities to lead worship, with working through good things with family, and with the hope that He will always walk with me.