I am overwhelmed with blessings in my life. I feel like I fit really well in the Springs. I am connected and could constantly be doing tons of things. Oops... I started to do a lot of those things. And I feel antsy. It's scary to have people expect me to do things or show up and be responsible. Be a good friend, be a worshipper with a heart in the right place, be a fun yet hard-working employee, etc. (I am sure that this is partly some expectations that I've put on myself.)
I'd rather be the new girl who is mysterious and novel. My novelness is starting to wear off. Crap.
It's easy for me to want to run away when people expect me to do certain things or act a certain way or meet what they thought I'd be. I'm going to disappoint them, so why not just disappoint them by leaving, instead of sticking around and letting them see that I am not as wonderful as I first try to pretend to be.
So... all this to say: I know Satan is feeding me lies about all this. But, Jesus has made me aware of it, and I can run to Him about all of it. I can REST in my Creators arms and come to Him with my fears. And He is gracious, loving, and good.
