Sarah, Hardly. I mean, I am often busy with cool things. I do have a great church, great friends, great worship stuff, great job, on and on. I know the Lord has handed me these things, and I am very thankful. And, my life is very full. But, sometimes I'm still lonely. Tonight and last night for example. All friends seem to just be doing other things. And, maybe I should be content watching a movie by myself or painting and singing or something, but I'm not. I want to be laughing and alive and with friends: pursuing the Lord, or just laughing, or I can even watch a movie with people - just not alone. Especially on a weekend.
Why is it way dorkier to be at home on a weekend alone? I just felt like a dork this weekend. I helped with worship tonight at church, and spent great time with a wonderful friend today during the day, but night is harder. I feel like it's also harder to fight the battle for my mind and my heart during the night when I'm alone. I could find something to do, and sometimes I try really hard to do that, but tonight - I didn't try, no one called me, and so I sit. Lord... speak.
Jesus, YOU are always always always near. Be near to me on a Saturday night. Teach me. Lead me. Reign in me.
